Gratitude.Forgiveness.Humility

It has been a VERY long time since I have even considered a blog post. I don't know why. Maybe its just that life has just gotten away from me. I don't know. I have had a lot of ideas and have actually started several posts over the last few months, but none of them worked. For me right now I am just grateful to be breathing. Life has gotten even crazier than ever, hard to believe, but it has. The Scott's are here and just treading right now. Trying to figure it all out. But we're good. I have just realized what is important and what is not. And keeping up with the "Jones" is not important. My little family has had its ups and downs this past six months, but we are still happy and stronger for our trials. I have mentioned in the past that I am not a very good church goer, and I have my issues with The Gospel, but I am truly grateful for my Heavenly Father and The Savior. Without them this past several weeks, I wouldn't of made it. Grateful for my Faith and my Family's Faith. I am grateful for The Lord's forgiveness and His love that I feel every second of the day. I have so much to be grateful for, and sometimes things get forced into prospective. I have been so discouraged lately, and at times I don't know what to do to not be. I find Joy in my minnies and my family. Jac is a great support and SO understanding. I am very grateful for him and his Love. I have been so blessed with the best family. I have two of the most loving, sweet, and fun sisters in the world, two Parents that love me no matter what stupid mistakes I make, and love me through them all. They are so understanding and helpful. LOVE to talk to my mom every morning. Sometimes she is what gets me going and kicks me in the butt. My dad. Wow. I don't even know what to say about him. My chest gets all tight and my eyes burn with tears when I think of my sweet Pops. He's a man of few words, but every single word of wisdom he gives me, is exactly what I need to hear. I love them dearly and am so grateful for the guidance and love they still give me everyday. I am also so thankful for my friends. They make me laugh and I enjoy our girls nights.
I know this post will make some of you wonder what this is all about. Its about my life. My crazy boring life. I can't explain what is in my heart right now, but l have experienced some very humbling trials lately. And without them, I don't know where I would be. I know God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but I never knew I would learn so much much from them. I have so much. So much. But I am always thinking I need more. Though its not bad to keep working and want for things. But, for me, it is now more about fulfilling my spiritual wants and needs, and filling those empty hollows in my Soul. Is this making sense? Probably not, but its my rantings and for some reason its making me feel better. I am trying to raise my kids the best I can. It sucks sometimes to watch them go through their trials and struggles. Sucks bad. They are my joy. My light. And my everything.
I guess what it all comes down to for me, is I'm tired. I'm tired of trying to be something I'm not. Tired of trying to keep up. Keep with the "Beer Commercial" life. So what if I like just be at home reading, playing with my kids, making my lists:D I will be me. And that is all I can do. Put God first, and everything will fall into place. Trust in the Lord. Two things I haven't done in a long, LONG time. I just feel like somethings missing in me. Maybe this is it. I don't know. I am content and happy. Just need to feel peace and comfort. I LOVE my husband soooooooooooo much and am so grateful for our 13 year marriage. He's my best friend. Gave me two beautiful babies that bring so much everything into this home. They just radiate Love don't they?!
Hope you are all well, and have Peace. That's my goal for the 2012 year. Peace.