Making Diamonds

I am feeling pressure. So much pressure that I could be making diamonds some where in my body from all this damn anxiety. So, I thought I would make a HATE list. I don't want to be positive today. I feel like crap emotionally and I am pissy. So, I am making a hate list. I am tired today. Tired of trying to be perfect. Tired of not sleeping. Tired of looking like I do. Tired of running on empty. So here it is. My hate list for today. I am sure I will feel more positive soon, but for today I am feeling in the shitter.

I HATE MY CARPET
I HATE THE WAY I LOOK RIGHT NOW
I HATE MY BOOBS AFTER HAVING BABIES
I HATE THAT I HAVE DEPRESSION
I HATE SELFISH PEOPLE
I HATE PUTTING MY HAND IN SOCKS AND REVERSING THEM WHILE FOLDING LAUNDRY
I HATE MY FLOOR IN THE KITCHEN AND LAUNDRY ROOM
I HATE THE WREATH THAT I AM LOOKING AT RIGHT NOW
I HATE THAT SADIE JUST PEED ON MY RUG AGAIN!
I HATE THAT MY SISTER LIVES SO FAR AWAY
I HATE THAT MY NANA IS GONE
I HATE THAT IF I DON'T GO ON AN OUTING WITH JAC AND THE KIDS THAT I FEEL GULITY WHEN I NEED 5 MINUTES TO BREATH
I HATE THAT 5 MINUTES TO MY SELF WOULD BE GREAT
I HATE THAT I HAVE A SINK FULL OF DISHES AND I REALLY DON'T WANT TO DO THEM
I HATE THAT JAC WORKS SO MUCH
I HATE THAT PEOPLE I LOVE DON'T HAVE WORK BECAUSE THEY LOST THEIR JOB
I HATE THIS ECONOMY CHANGE
I HATE THAT I CAN'T PROTECT ELE ALL DAY AND SMACK MEAN KIDS THAT ARE MEAN TO HER
I HATE MY BACKYARD RIGHT NOW AND THAT STUPID CAT THAT KEEPS PEEING IN OUR SANDBOX
I HATE THESE JEANS I AM WEARING
I REALLY HATE READING BLOGS WHERE PEOPLE FEEL THE NEED TO PRETEND THEY ARE PERFECT WHEN WE ALL KNOW THEY ARE ALL JACKED UP TOO
I HATE CRYING, IT JUST GIVES ME A HEADACHE
I HATE THAT IF I CRY IN FRONT OF MY KIDS THEY THINK SOMETHING IS REALLY WRONG
I HATE THE PILE OF CRAP THAT JAC HAS ON THE SIDE OF THE CHAIR IN THE DINING ROOM
I HATE THAT I NEED TO DUST ALL THE BOOKSHELVES/DESK IN MY ROOM
I HATE THAT JAC ROTATED OUR BED AND NOW MY BED SKIRT IS JACKED UP
I HATE THAT PHIN COLORED ON MY CUTE PILLOWS
I HATE GROCERY SHOPPING
I HATE THAT I NEED TO CLEAN MY BATHROOM UPSTAIRS
I HATE ALL UNORGANIZED CLOSETS IN MY HOUSE

AND I REALLY HATE THAT I AM WRITING THIS HATE LIST BECAUSE IT ISN'T MAKING ME FEEL BETTER